If he is going through a divorce, he has issues that he has to resolve with regard to the dissolution of his marriage (such as issues with regard to their estate, finances or kids) and that could be interfering with his readiness for a new relationship.While he is in the midst of a divorce, he might not be physically or emotionally available to meet your needs because his priority may be to finalize his divorce.But often, the biological parent and significant other (you, as his girlfriend) have strong differences of opinion on what constitutes the needs of his kids and how those needs get met.But, as Yvonne Kelly says in her Step-Dating Report at the Step and Blended Family Institute: “…a guilt-ridden bio parent may insist on meeting all of the ‘wants’ or preferences of the child under the guise of meeting their needs, at the expense of meeting any of his/her own needs or the needs of the couple.
I wanted to have a “normal” relationship…the kind where I could spend time with him and his kids, or call him while he’s visiting his mom without him having to let my call go to voicemail. It’s like relationship limbo when you’re dating a divorcing man.
Here are some approaches you can take: When you feel like you’re second to his ex and his kids, there is a need or requirement that you have that is not getting met.
So I would encourage you to take a look at what is going on in your relationship when you feel like you’re being treated second. And is there a way that you could negotiate with him to meet that need?
If he’s always responding to his kids’ requests , it could be that he struggles with maintaining healthy boundaries.
Boundaries are the limits a person decides on how people can treat them, how they can behave around them, and what they can expect from them.
But here’s the question to consider about impatience: Impatient according to whom? Your significant other might say you’re impatient or you might feel you’re being impatient. W: “How long it takes to “recover” from a divorce depends on a number of factors, including how long [they] were together, how good the relationship was and how committed [they] were to [each other], whether the divorce was a surprise to [one spouse] or not, whether [they] have children together, whether [they] are involved in a new relationship, [their] personalities, [their] ages, [their] socio-economic status and on and on.” In general, post-divorce recovery can take a year or longer for him to really make the transitions and adjustments to being a single dad and healing from the dissolution of his marriage.