Moreover, borderlines feel as though they cannot control these reactions.
It can include verbal abuse and constant criticism to more subtle tactics like intimidation, manipulation, and refusal to ever be pleased.
I had been in a relationship with someone with BPD traits for 4 years Each time she goes from rage to distancing herself and then showing me extreme love, I always thought may be I misunderstood her.
I knew I was doing everything right but I still blamed myself.
Thank goodness, now I am free of the emotional pain and abuse I have been through. Yes, it was a painful decision but I know it will go away with time. Although the book is directed at women, it applies equally to both sexes.
The emotional abuse I've been taking would have been for ever. Read the following excerpt from the book The Emotionally Abused Woman: Overcoming Destructive Patterns and Reclaiming Yourself. Keep in mind that this book was written for women who are victims of domestic abuse, not for people in BPD situations.
Many non-borderlines are verbally or emotionally abused by the person who has BPD. Although borderlines may act emotionally (and even physically) abusive, it's crucial to understand that they are usually trying to harm you.