On some level you must have known that she would be bothered by it, and you chose not to tell her.I don’t say this to judge or to blame, but I think it is important to be clear about what has been happening. My best friend and I have been besties since the fourth grade. She was with this guy for four years, up until early May of this year, when he suddenly decided to break up with her. I started hanging out with him about two weeks later, at first thinking I was just being someone to talk to.Well, me and this guy started sleeping together about two weeks ago and we're crazy about each other. My feeling is that she would be very hurt, but at the same time I don't want to pass up a chance to be with someone who could turn out to be the love of my life, you know?Most of us have beliefs about ourselves and how we would react in hypothetical situations.
So I'm not going to lie: The allure of her ex-boyfriend I liked him. But, hey, at fifteen and sixteen years old, you aren't that intellectual yet. If you're a teenager, chances are this isn't the boy you're going to spend your life with.Okay, I'm about to admit something that *no* girl ever should. We were never really official but there were definitely sparks that flew between us. The rule I ignored was talking to your friend about it first. But even though my BFF and I are as tight as ever (c'mon, chicks before dicks), there are some things I should have asked myself before I went down the dangerous road of liking her former significant other. And so did my best friend's other friends, when they told her that her boyfriend had a crush on me. He was one of my best friends but every time I was with him, I had this nagging curiosity. "The sad truth is I never really considered how all of this would affect my friend. There's a definite girl code you should abide by when you're dating.She will very likely be devastated and feel betrayed by her best friend and by the man she thought she had a lasting future with.I wish I could tell you otherwise, but I think you already know this. You feel this man could be the love of your life, and you’ve chosen to begin a relationship with him.You are sacrificing a long-lasting friendship for an uncertain future. Best of luck, Erika Erika Myers, MS, MEd, LPC, NCC is a licensed psychotherapist and former educator specializing in working with families in transition (often due to separation or divorce) as well as individuals seeking support with relationship issues, parenting, depression, anxiety, grief/loss/bereavement, and managing major life changes.