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A common one is 'gaslighting', where you mess with their reality in an effort to make the other person feel crazy.

Even if it's not intentional, telling them that their experience is not valid can have terrible consequences for both your partner and your relationship." —"If you're a perfectionist who constantly looks for imperfections to criticize in your partner, then you'll feel like nothing is ever good enough.

A grudge is inherently self-sabotaging because the purpose is to keep people at bay; it's a protective mechanism.

As long as you are angry, no one will go near you." —"A way to sabotage your relationship is to play mind games.

Sometimes the idea of being in a relationship has more value to us than compatibility in the relationship, equity in the relationship, or just plain happiness.

That can create illusions that you're in a healthy relationship because you choose not to see the bad.

Even though you we might not be aware of it consciously, subconsciously you're compensating for the elements that are missing.

Drugs and alcohol are just band-aids and will kill a relationship." "Something I see a lot in my counseling practice is individuals who say that he/she wants to communicate better with their partner and then proceed to explain that they have not spoken to their partner in week.

The very thing that they say that they want is the thing that they take away from their partner, using silence as a punishment or weapon.

This behavior is oftentimes done unconsciously, out of a place of fear.

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